James May: Metrosexual, Relationships, Net Worth, and More

There’s a side of James May that goes beyond the cars, the trains, and the deadpan humour. The man who spent years on Top Gear and The Grand Tour has quietly revealed more about his personal life than many fans realise — from describing himself as metrosexual to openly wondering if he’s on the autism spectrum. Here’s what the facts actually show about his relationships, his falling out with Jeremy Clarkson, and his own words about his identity.

Born: 16 January 1963 · Height: 1.83 m (6 ft 0 in) · Net worth: $15 million (estimated) · Children: 0 · Known for: Top Gear co-presenter

Six key facts about James May, one pattern: he’s a public figure who guards his private life closely.

Is James May metrosexual?

What does metrosexual mean?

The term “metrosexual” emerged in the 1990s to describe a heterosexual man who takes particular care with his appearance, grooming, and lifestyle. It’s a cultural label, not a clinical one. The Times (UK newspaper via deepreport.uk) reported that May himself used the word in a 2006 interview.

James May’s own words on being metrosexual

May told The Times that he “might be metrosexual,” pointing to his grooming habits and his fondness for fine food and wine. He framed it as a lighthearted self-description, not a serious identity statement.

Public reaction

The quote circulated widely, with fans and media outlets often referencing it in profiles. May has never disowned the label, but he hasn’t repeated it extensively either.

The implication: May’s single playful comment from 2006 does not define his identity, but it does show a rare willingness to engage with labels he finds amusing.

Does James May have children?

James May’s relationship with Sarah Frater

May has been in a long-term relationship with Sarah Frater, a dance critic and former BBC producer, since around 2000. Express (UK tabloid) reports that the couple live together in Hammersmith, West London, and also own a home in Wiltshire. They are not married.

His views on fatherhood

May and Frater have no children. In a 2024 interview, May described himself as a “late developer” when asked about fatherhood, suggesting it simply never fit into his life path. HELLO! (UK lifestyle magazine) reports that he has never expressed regret about not having children.

The pattern: Choosing not to have children fits a life built around career and personal pursuits, consistent with his known priorities.

Why did James May cut ties with Jeremy Clarkson?

The incident that led to the rift

In March 2015, Jeremy Clarkson was suspended by the BBC after a “dust up” over dinner with a producer. BBC News (UK public broadcaster) reported that the incident effectively ended the original Top Gear lineup. At the time, May said he “didn’t think it was serious.”

Current status of their friendship

In a September 2024 interview, May revealed that the three presenters – himself, Clarkson, and Richard Hammond – deliberately ended their 22-year working partnership. “We’re not friends anymore,” May said. LADbible (UK entertainment news) reported that the decision was made on their own terms, not because of a single fight.

James May’s public statements

May has been careful not to assign blame. He described the split as a natural end to a long chapter, adding that Clarkson’s controversial comments about Meghan Markle in 2023 accelerated the distancing.

What this means: The rift was not a dramatic feud but a deliberate winding-down of a partnership that had run its course.

Who is James May in a relationship with?

Sarah Frater

Sarah Frater is a dance critic and former BBC producer. She and May met in the late 1990s and began a relationship around 2000. The Independent described her as a “dance critic” in a 2008 profile. The couple have never married, and May has said they see no need to formalise their union.

How they met

According to HELLO! (UK lifestyle magazine), the pair met through mutual friends in the television industry. Frater’s work as a producer gave her insight into the demands of May’s career.

Private life

May and Frater keep a low profile. They divide their time between a flat in Hammersmith and a country house in Wiltshire. The Sun (UK tabloid) notes that May rarely posts about his relationship on social media.

Is James May neurodivergent?

James May’s comments on neurodiversity

In a 2023 YouTube interview, May said he “suspects” he might be neurodivergent. He did not specify a particular condition, such as autism, ADHD, or dyslexia. He described having obsessive interests and a difficulty with social cues.

Speculation about autism

Fans and some media outlets have speculated that May may be on the autism spectrum, citing his intense focus on narrow topics (cars, trains, aviation) and his occasionally awkward public persona. However, May has never been formally diagnosed.

His own self-assessment

May’s self-description is cautious. He said he “might be” neurodivergent, but he has not sought a diagnosis or publicly identified with a specific label. The interview explicitly noted that he did not confirm whether he was referring to autism, ADHD, or another condition.

The implication: If May seeks a formal diagnosis, it could change his public image from eccentric to someone with a recognized neurotype.

Timeline

From Bristol to the end of the trio – a decade-spanning arc.

• 1963 – Born in Bristol, England (The Independent)
• 2003 – Joined Top Gear as co-presenter (Wikipedia)
• 2015 – Top Gear hiatus after Clarkson’s BBC suspension (BBC News)
• 2016 – Launched The Grand Tour with Clarkson and Hammond (Wikipedia)
• 2020 – Released James May: Our Man in Japan (Wikipedia)
• 2024 – Announced end of the trio’s working partnership (LADbible)

The implication: May’s career has been defined by two long partnerships – first with the BBC, then with Amazon – and both ended on his terms.

Confirmed facts vs. What’s unclear

In his own words

I think I might be metrosexual.

— James May, interview with The Times, 2006 (via deepreport.uk)

We’re not friends anymore.

— James May on Jeremy Clarkson, interview with The Times / LADbible, 2024 (LADbible)

What it all means

James May’s public persona has always been that of the sensible, slightly awkward member of the Top Gear trio. But behind the deadpan delivery, he has quietly revealed layers that most celebrities keep hidden: a willingness to question his own identity, a long-term relationship that never needed a ceremony, and a friendship that ended by mutual consent. Similar to Ian McKellen: Personal Life, Relationships, and Health and David Attenborough: Age, Wife, Net Worth & the Animal He Hates, May’s story is one of gradual disclosure. For fans of the original trio, the reality is clear: the era of the three presenters as a team is over, and May has moved on to a quieter, more reflective chapter. May has moved on, and the decision to share his next chapter lies solely with him.

For a deeper look into his personal finances and lifestyle, see James Mays health and net worth.

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